Ever since elementary school, college has been the goal. As a kid, my mom would tell me to work hard in school and get good grades, so I could go to college. My mom was born and raised in a small town in Mexico, and the highest level of education she received was middle school. Since my mom did not attend college, that makes me a first-generation student and I feel oblivious to the college process.
At the end of junior year, some of my peers were already talking about college counselors. This was surprising and scary because I wasn’t sure if that meant I should also get a college counselor. It made me wonder how they knew so much about the college application process and I realized that it was probably because their parents went to college. They probably grew up hearing about what applying to college was like. Questions flooded my mind: How do you get a college counselor? How expensive are they? What schools should I apply to? How do I apply to them?
Because I had no idea what the process for applying to colleges was (and I’m still not fully sure), I put it off. Now I feel behind and wish I would have started earlier. Every day I try to work on my applications, but every day is a rollercoaster: one day I’ll feel really good about them, the next I feel helpless, like I’m back to square one. I don’t know if my essays are good enough or what colleges are looking for. I don’t know who to turn to or who to ask for help; it’s not like I can ask my mom.
As of right now I am still learning and trying my best to fill out applications, but it has really taken a toll on me. I’m constantly stressed and there don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to do homework, go to cheer practice, have a social life, and apply to colleges. Balancing this has never been a problem in the past, but now that college applications have been added to the mix, it’s become a lot harder.
I feel pressure as well, from my family and myself. My family has never told me that they would be disappointed if I didn’t go to college, but I’ve always done well in school, which has led them to have high expectations for me. I also have high expectations for myself, and the college I end up at is a big decision that will affect me for the rest of my life. I fear that because I don’t know much about college, I’m not applying to the right schools.
It would be incredibly helpful if more help and information on applying to college was given to us at school. Maybe even a class senior year dedicated to just working on college applications where we could ask questions and get help. For now, I feel like I’m on my own.