Every year, I look forward to winter break with a growing sense of bliss, thinking about the magic of the holiday season. I think of all the fun I had as a child: going shopping, making my Christmas list, decorating the tree, and spending time with my family. However, as I have gotten older, that feeling of joy seems to be slipping further and further away, no matter how hard I work to hold onto that magic I once felt during the holidays.
Winter has always been my favorite season and I think that’s largely been due to how my family made holidays so special. Throughout the season, my parents worked extremely hard to capture the full Christmas experience, with Christmas music constantly in the background, looking at each houses’ sparkling and colorful holiday lights every chance we got, and eating every holiday themed thing we could stuff in our mouths. Throughout the season, particularly on Christmas Eve and Christmas, I felt as if I was floating, soaking up every single moment with pure joy.
These past few years, nothing has changed in our holiday traditions. In fact, I have worked harder to hold onto the holiday spirit than in the past years. I have tried to treat myself to hot chocolate and peppermint mochas, listen to as much Christmas music as possible, and spend more care in picking out gifts for my family, but the joy I used to get from the holidays just has not been there in recent years.
Furthermore, the weather and short days no longer make me smile as I curl up in a blanket on the couch. Instead, I feel lazy when I stay inside, as if there is an invisible weight on my shoulders bringing down my mind and body. That weight makes me feel guilty for relaxing and not going out, but at the same time makes it feel impossible for me to move. In the past years, no matter what I have done there seems to be a sense of sadness and loss when the holidays finally roll around.
I think that this feeling of joy being gone in the holiday spirit speaks to a larger issue of our childhoods being taken from us too quickly. The stress of school, family, society, and social media have stolen the innocent childhood bliss and joy in the small things, leaving our generation to grow up far too fast.
Instead of enjoying the short time we have as kids, we spend our time stressed, depressed, and anxious. Maybe there is no true fix to this and it might be too late for us to go back in time before we lost that childhood bliss. However, this year my goal is to live in the moment and to focus on appreciating even the smallest things. Overall, childhood is about being present and finding enjoyment in the little things.
