Embracing Identity 

By: Pepper King

I do not look Chinese. I’ve had people ask if I was adopted. I’ve had people come up to me speaking Spanish, assuming that I understood. I’ve had so many responses of, “Oh,

really?” when I say that I am Chinese. 

As a kid, not knowing where I fit in didn’t bother me very much. I was happy to celebrate my culture and wear a Qipao (pronounced chee-pow), a traditional Chinese dress, to school when we celebrated the Lunar New Year, but when I spent time with friends it never even crossed my mind that I looked different from them. 

As I’ve grown up, I’ve grown more conscious of my race, and how it presents itself. Even now, I feel like I don’t have the right to be writing about my experiences because I don’t feel like they align with the way many other Asian Americans are treated, or what they have been through.

No one has ever pulled their eyes back to imitate my own or called me names. However, just because I am not discriminated against to  my face, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t witnessed subtle attacks against Asians from all cultures.

Even though I don’t face discrimination as a Chinese American, I’ve come across other experiences where it’s clear that I don’t quite fit in with the standard. The main source of this is dance. As a competitive dancer, and while it brings me a lot of happiness and a lot of close bonds with the girls on my team, there are occurrences where I feel a disconnection. With ballet especially, the costumes are chosen to complement a white body. Pink tights, pink shoes, and peach straps that stand out against my skin are something I see at almost every practice. 

For the most part, it’s easy for me to overlook, and it doesn’t affect me. However, when a seven-year-old asks me why I’m “ruining the pretty costume” when I’m painting over the peach parts with foundation so that they’ll actually blend into my skin, it’s hard to ignore.

Representation has grown a lot in the last few years, and more people are calling for its importance. However, there is still so much work that needs to be done. Americans tend to be so unaware and uneducated about other cultures, and it hurts me to see. In particular, I’ve noticed that so many people group all Asians together. Asian and Chinese are not synonymous.